OK, explain it like I'm stupid: How did a magic flying man save the world by getting nailed to a tree?

Ah, the classic conundrum. I think we'd have to drink for this question, except that we only drink for questions from Thumpers which are stupid and have been answered a thousand times on R%26amp;S, and this question isn't stupid and has never actually been satisfactorily answered.





I think the problem that we stupid atheists can't get our poor heads around is the underlying assumptions. If you just start from the right perspective, then everything will fall into place. Basically you need to accept that the universe revolves around blood sacrifice - that cosmic order can always be restored by exacting revenge from somebody. This was a big thing in the Old Testament, and is still recognized by many primitive societies today.





For example, if you shoot my dog, then I need to rectify the situation by raping your sister, and then everything will be back to normal. Of course this is stunningly retarded, and the idea that a just and loving deity was responsible for this form of justice is an insult to just and loving deities everywhere, but whatever.





Anyway, once you start looking at the world as a cosmic balance in which two wrongs really DO equal a right, then it makes perfect sense that a magic flying man could save the world by getting nailed to a tree. Try it.OK, explain it like I'm stupid: How did a magic flying man save the world by getting nailed to a tree?
Tree magic and stuff.OK, explain it like I'm stupid: How did a magic flying man save the world by getting nailed to a tree?
Read Christianity for Dummies, by Richard Wagner.
It's just an amalgamation of myths from the Mediterranean.





Heracles (Greek version) descended to Hades (Hell) and defeated Pluto (Satan).





Mithras, or the bull, was slain from the foundation of the world to save us.





Too many gods to name ascended to the Heavens.





Christianity is the great Patchwork quilt of religion. For all of their complaining about Pagans, they never met a god they couldn't borrow something from.
Once nailed to the tree, he was abe to use it to fly to the alien mothership and kill them all, as he had an abundant supply of stout sticks.
He let himself be nailed there to save you and me from hell if we just let him, that is if your talking about Jesus anyway.
Jesus Christ saved ME when he was nailed to the cross and rose again on the third day.
He wasn't a magic flying man. He was God. When God created the universe and put Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, He set rules. They were not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If they did eat of that tree, death would enter into the world. They ate, and God killed an innocent animal to give them clothing to cover their nakedness. He then set up a system of sacrifices of innocen animals to pay for the sins of man. Man had to keep sacrificing these innocent animals to pay for the sins which he kept committing. God finally sent His Son, Jesus, who was also innocent of any sin, to become the permanent sacrifice for mankind. He died on the cross, and His sacrifice paid the debt for our sins, past, present, and future. To have this applied to our sin, we HAVE to accept His sacrifice and ask that it be applied to our account. By Adam death entered the world, and by Christ, death was overcome, so that we can live for eternity with Him if we only accept Him.
Just exactly what did christ do to deserve your flagrant hostility? Examples please.
Superman saved the world by being ';faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.';
The magical flying man made a deal with the great wizard of darkness, creator of man. The deal was simple, if he can get the humans to kill him AND worship him, then he could have the tasty souls of all those that volunteered to worship him instead of the great wizard. If he couldn't, then the great wizard could continue killing humans whenever he wanted to for what ever reason he wanted to. And best of all, he could butt hump the magical flying man whenever he pleased. The magical flying man thought of this as a waste, as he liked to eat human souls. And he knew his butt was on the line, so he could not fail. He knew the great wizard was sweet on him, and was dying to nail his butt across the bedpost banister.





The great wizard, having put out his manual over a millenia ago, foolishly thinking that his previous instructions, threats and Godfather style actions (killings all first born kids, wiping out entire nations, etc.) would be enough to keep people in check.





But the magical flying man was a crafty bastard. He enlisted the help of the drunken gargoyle, who had been kicked out of the wizards bed for talking too much and asking too many questions. The drunken gargoyle knew the great wizards secret to controlling the people, and he gave that knowledge to the magical flying man for his share of the souls. They were going to double cross the great wizard and keep all the souls for themselves. They devised a plan that took appoximately 20 years to formulate, but they pulled it off, and now the world no longer worship the great wizard. They worship the magical flying man or they belong to the drunken gargoyle.





While it is said that the magic flying man saved you from your sins, he only saved you for himself. His motto: Souls, it's what's for dinner!
Unfortunately, you will probably never know.
You know I am wondering why you people joined this category (religion and Spirituality) and asked question on religion, on spiritual matter, yet you do not believe God and the spirit of God.





What we are supposed to utter or write or tell in this section of yahoo is sacred without out no malice, no insults and no embarassing questions to our God.





You can afford to say that our God is a flying man?





Take note of this verse in James Chapter 4,verse 4.





Jas 4:4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever, therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.


jtm
You are a big girl you can make up your own mind. Don't act like Christians are stupid though. It's rather unattractive.
I don't think he did.